The other day we were feeling crafty and peckish so we decided to make a craft we could sup on. Here is the evidence of the events as they unfolded*:
We bought pizza dough at Trader Joe's on a whim.
I believe that Kristyn said this is the Italian Evil Eye or Devil Horns or warding off of the Evil Eye. IDK, I was thinking intently about pizza at the time.
I started the project but Kristyn had a lot of instructions so she took over. She forgot that she used to work at a pizzaria, haha.
We used a stupid Ragu sauce. It was kinda too sweet for to make pizza with.
We used an entire bag of mozzarella bc why wouldn't you?
Sprinkle some garlic on when Kristyn's not looking and it's ready for the oven!
Booyah!
It was pretty good! Next time we have to use a sauce with more oregano. Totes.
*I never said this blog would always be interesting. As Kristyn’s niece says, “You get what you get and you don’t get upset!!!”
Today is Thanksgiving and all over the US people have now stuffed themselves to the gills and are passed out all over living room furniture from coast to coast. I love Thanksgiving. A) Because of the food (obviously). B) Because it’s a gift-free holiday that you can just sit back and enjoy. I’ve been on the preparation end of Thanksgiving meals and it IS a nightmare to prepare your house, spend your money and try to dot every last “I” and cross every last “T” only to have your snot-nose family members come over and think the whole thing happened with a swish of a wand. Been THERE. BUT although I love giving and receiving gifts on Christmas, it just kind of causes a clusterfudge of anxiety that just kind of stresses us all out. So, “Ahhhh Thanksgiving”. Haha.
Me and Kristyn aren’t having our meal today. She has to work unfortunately so I am just hanging around chilling and waiting for her to get back. We Skyped with my Mother, Brother, Grandmother, Aunts, Uncles and Cousins and talked on the phone with everyone else. It wasn’t the same as being there but it was definitely a nice substitution. Thank bejesus for technologia.
This is me, my Mom and Brother Skyping.
Also, I made myself a broke down version of Thanksgiving dinner. We went to Whole Foods the other day for the Tofurkey and found a packaged of sliced Tofurkey that was flavored like stuffing and cranberry sauce. WHAT?! So we bought that and omg it smells and tastes just like Thanksgiving!!! So here’s the white trash Thanksgiving meal I had, haha:
Three slices of Stuffing and Cranberry Tofurkey (heated in the microwave)
A buttered hot dog bun (haha)
Instant Garlic Mashed Potatoes
Cranberry Sauce
I know that sounds SO, SO terrible but honestly, shit was hella good. Tomorrow we have EVERYTHING. I’ll post pictures of our vegan Thanksgiving and it will make your mouth water. Don’t worry it is NOTHING like the above, nary a hotdog bun will be in sight. In fact, I have a picture of the future and this is what it looks like:
What my table will look like tomorrow.
And Kristyn had some Thanksgiving food at work so she was at least looking forward to that but in the end, here’s what she texted me in regards to it:
Ate some food. Found hair in it, blech.
Plus it’s cold.
Woo.
(Woo=misery sound)
So yeah, she’s not digging work on the holiday. I wish she were here but it’s okay because tomorrow we are going to be fat pigs and eat until we have to help each other to the bathroom to purge. It’s going to be disgusting and you’ll love it.
What else, what else…I guess that’s it. I’m going to watch that Matt Lauer “People of 2009” Thingamagig…also I want to watch “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving”. I will continue to try not to eat our Pumpkin or Apple pies that are sitting…so close…right there…get off the chair Coleen, you could have your face buried in it before you even knew what you were doing…STOP.
Oh AND Kristyn gave the cats Turkey and Giblets canned food today and they shunned that shit. Well Edith didn’t because homegirl is still so traumatized from her early life that she will eat literally anything put in front of her, but Monster and Elvira…they’ve always had it sort of good so what do they care? Elvira who was out on the street when I found her had to have come from somewhere but was pretty skinny when we took her in. She usually eats her portion, moves onto Monster’s and will take a stab at Edith’s if she’s not vigilant. Monster is usually afraid of what Elvira will do to him if he approaches his own food bowl so this is nothing especially new. Still, methinks those babies forgot what it’s like to suffer! I will make them suffer with kisses and hugs!!! So cruel.
I’m going to try to write more of the Roadtrip blog in a little while. It takes a long-ass time to do them though! See ya later. Oh and HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!
P.S. The guy who wrote the musical score to Mary Poppins (Richard Sherman) was on TV before! He is 81 years old now. He had read the book by Pamela Travers on a friend’s recommendation and he and his brother had started coming up with music to go with the story just because they liked writing music. After writing a couple of songs for Annette Funicello, they got a little bit of notariety. When Walt Disney had started considering making a movie out of Mary Poppins, they went to him with the music they’d created. He took them on and the rest is history. He said, “As the old saying goes, luck is what happens when preperation meets opportunity.” I’ve heard that before but I love that! Watching him made me miss my family a bit as did watching the Macy’s Day Parade but mostly, I am just happy today and excited for tomorrow!
I don’t watch Beauty Pageants, I’m just not interested. It’s not a “stand”, it’s just not interesting to me. When Perez Hilton asked Carrie Prejean her views on gay marriage, she responded that marriage should be between a man and a woman. Obviously I do not agree. I did not like, though, how the next day and weeks following, he created a hate parade about it. I mean I think she has a pretty outdated, prejudiced attitude but I mean there was only one way she could have answered his question without being ripped a new one and that’s not fair. Here’s how it all began:
So, yeah she’s an idiot but she can be enlightened and maybe learn something from it at this point. She wasn’t rude or derogatory at all. He, however, went bananas on her:
He just always manages to take it to a level…
Then all that blahblahblah cross-talk happened.
* Pageant says she’s not meeting her commitments
* She says her religious beliefs are being persecuted
* Nude pictures of her are released (which she says were “artistic” and done “when she was 17” and also “the wind managed to blow her top open”…come on…)
* We find out she got breast implants via the Pageant committee.
* Trump saved her post, then got rid of her…
All kinds of shit went down. And the longer it went on, the nastier she became. I mean it’s one thing to have an opinion, it is another thing entirely to join up with hate groups which she did (National Organization for Marriage).
And then…she sues the Pageant for all kinds of damages, including religious persecution and slander and SETTLES FOR NOTHING when a masturbation tape is brought up!!! And she went on Sean Hannity and called it the “worst mistake of her life”. Then like 7 more videos and 30 more nude pictures are released!!!!!
And then there’s this:
She seems like she was coached and just sticking to the “line” she was given. “It’s inappropriate, Larry”.
Now there is nothing inherently “wrong” with taking nude photos or whatever you want to do…I mean you are taking a risk but it’s your body, your risk and your life.
She is “the worst” because she has been on an almost year-long tirade about how certain “perverts” rights should be curtailed. She wants the right to get married, have kids, have sex with who she wants to, etc. She goes from “I’m sorry this is just my opinion” to commercials, speaking engagements, a BOOK?! I mean:
a) This is all very, very self-serving in THE MOST ugly way because in the beginning it just seemed like a personal opinion but then to make MONEY off trashing people’s right to life, liberty and happiness? How is that Christian?
b) So what she’s saying ultimately is that perverts don’t have the right to love but non-perverts have the right to make porn?
c) She just seems to be very self-righteous, ignorant and hypocritical.
d) She had the chutzpah it took to make almost 40 pornographic pictures of herself but then asked her boyfriend to tell the media that she was 17 when she made them so they can’t be posted. Since when is lying ethical?
I don’t know, my family are Christian and I was raised Catholic. Even if they don’t agree with same-sex marriage, they’d never want me or anyone else in a same-sex relationship to be unhappy or oppressed. And she is going out there on a “Christian” platform, representing a “Christian” idea. In other words, she’s making everyone look bad because she wants to make money. And she’s hurting a lot of people’s feelings to do it.
Sweetheart, you’re pretty. Stick with that. There’s a reason no one asks Kate Moss her political opinions. We don’t want to know and that’s good enough for her.
Another thing is that I feel kind of bad for her. If she’s 22 like she says she is, she has made a royal “Oops” of her life. You don’t know who you are or how you really feel at 22. What could have just been verbal diarhea has now turned into something she HAS NO CHOICE but to keep as a lifetime “moral” all because if she admits she’s wrong now, the wolves will tear her apart. Like these are the kinds of opinions a person has and then learns better when they make a friend who is gay/black/fat/disabled/whatever. They just don’t do it on national television and get blasted by like the nastiest man in entertainment (perez). So, yeah that sucks and I feel for her. BUT the commercial? The book? She’s taken it too far and become an accidental emblem of hate for someone like me which seems like the exact opposite of what she was trying to do, right? So who the hell does she have around her that is taking her down this path? She is STILL entitled to her opinion but WHOEVER is telling her to sue the California Pageant and book only anti-gay speaking engagements and write books and condescend to Larry King ONLY has $$$$ in their eyes. If she truly is a 22 year old girl, she is being taken for a frigging ride so that someone else can make money. Just as soon as whoever is pulling the strings cashes in, she’ll be dropped and we’ll still all loathe her. It truly is a damn shame. UNLESS she flips the script and becomes a fervent gay marriage activist…and then she’ll be the second coming of Mary. *Here’s hoping*
It’s called Y Kristyn and it’s awesome, go read it! Well she hasn’t posted much on there yet but it WILL be awesome, so go. Get out of here and go. Here she is, what a looker:
The gmail goddesses have locked me out of my account. I have been trying to clean my pictures off my hard drive by zip-filing them and then sending them to an underused gmail account. Basically I have no dinero to spend on fancy flash drives, etc so I am taking the broke down (and tedious) way out. Unfortunately, this made gmail “flag” my account for suspicious activity and I may have “violated my terms of agreement”. Yes, you DO HAVE 78K MB of space available to you but if you USE it, you will get slapped. Apparently they want all non-email files to be stored on Picasa. You get 1 MB free and then every MB after said MB is gonna cost ya. Well I already pay for a Flickr Pro account and I have WAAAAAAY more than 1MB of pictures to store so that’s not going to work.
Damn just when you think you’re minding your own bidness.
I am woebegone. I had such a fun weekend and now look at me, I’m here at work, a corporate cronie, a cog in the machine, a disenfranchised hand-wringing complainer with sallow skin and a wide ass. *sigh*
Let’s turn this thing around, whaddy say? Do you guys have anything fun for me to look at? A funny story I can read? An interesting blog for me to throw an eyeball at? Please don’t send me anything with audio today because I forgot my earphones (pity me)…
Ho hum. I wish I were home and having a good time with Kristyn. I even feel blase about this post. Oh god.
EDIT: Nevermind, I realized I can just read Diablo Cody’s blog. Tres funn-y! I guess I’m just a little slow today. Poop.
For the past few years, my Achilles Heel has been Perezhilton.com. I know it’s silly, I know it’s vapid, I know it’s basically junk food as far as entertainment and productive use of time goes. But it entertains me in an “I don’t have to think” fashion and I like that the celebrities are shown warts and all. As time has gone by, I’ve kind of found Perez’s posts to be less comical and more derogatory. His attitude towards women seems very misogynistic in terms of his commentary on size, age, looks, youth, behavior, etc. He has his favorites though and they can do no wrong. He also has his favorites to pick on and torture. It’s weird because all of these people, picked on or not, seek out his favor. It’s like they aren’t legitimate unless he has their opinion, bad or good.
And what’s weird is that he posts pictures of the same people who he picks on and berates at his birthday party. And THEN he almost seems flattered that these celebrities would be there and fawns over them only to slam them the next day.
In black and white, this seems vile. Why would I pay attention to this? Why would I give it the time of day? Well the website is pink, there’s plenty of pictures, it’s easy to navigate and the author speaks in a familiar, chummy voice. It’s easy to get sucked in.
Just recently, what with Twittermania taking over the nation, I too, picked up my “smart phone” and got in on the action. I “followed” Perez, as did a million other people. But soon, I started seeing how vicious he could be. Calling Kirstie Alley a fat bitch, telling Mariah to ditch her song choices for ones he’d prefer, telling Christina Aguilera that her last album sucked, the list goes on. And it’s weird because he’d snipe at these people publicly and then just as quickly flatter them and fawn if they paid him attention. It’s pathological.
So just about a week ago, when discussing these “findings” with friends, we all predicted that something was about to go down with Perez. It’s easy to laugh and giggle when he’s behind the facade of a bubble-gum pink website with pretty pictures. It’s different when the wall is taken down a little bit and you get to see the person behind (on Twitter). I think it made a lot of people kind of step back and go, “Whoa”. This guy is a megalomaniac. And his platform is “truth”, not “opinion” but “truth”. He thinks someone’s ugly so they are. He thinks a CD sucks so it does. He thinks someone’s gay so they are.
Which brings me to my next point…Perez thinks he’s doing the world a service by outing people. He’s taking one for the team knowing everyone will hate him but hoping that outing people will make being gay more mainstream. The problem with that is that it takes a long time for people to figure themselves out and sexuality is not something you can nail down. It’s less about sex and more about being happy with someone you want to spend all of your time with. That’s not something that just “happens” overnight, not for many of us.
And then this whole Will.i.am debaucle happened. Bitch Magazine wrote a good essay on what happened. Here it is:
Basically the articles seeks to understand just what is it that makes this whole story interesting? Is it that a gay man and/or a black man were involved? Is it Perez getting clocked? Is it that someone was called a faggot? Is it that the word was hurled by a gay man? Is it that Perez states that he used the word that would hurt the most, that BEING the word “faggot”? Is it that that word in particular pissed off Will.i.am? Is it that Perez had it coming? Is it that we’re happy about Perez getting clocked? The list goes on and on…
And it’s strange because in my own life, I had a friend who was JUST LIKE Perez. Looks like him, talks like him, acts like him, the list goes on and on for that too…It might even be why I was interested in Perez in the first place. That particular friend and I fell out after I started dating Kristyn. He’s gay and had had to go through a lot to come out of the closet. And then here I come, dating a girl and not even having myself figured out. That person dehumanized me for it and totally cut me out of his life. For years I wondered what went wrong. And this friend is funny, charismatic and when he’s your best friend (for the day), you have a great time. And when you’re out of his favor, you want back in. It’s so damn weird. And dangerous. Now I’m not going to credit this guy with much, it’s just that he’s funny. But it’s exactly the same with Perez. He has a sharp wit that makes people want to be around him but the reality is that behind that sharp wit is a person who takes his opinion for fact, influences people to feel the way he does and turns his sharp tongue on you so fast your head is left spinning. But here’s the thing, you have to like it. If you don’t, you will be on his shit list forever. In fact, this year, being an idiot, I tried to mend things with this friend because I thought that all this happened because we were kids. I wanted to apologize for hurting his feelings and I wanted to, not be friends, but to resolve this problem and move on. It had been causing me a lot of stress and so I sent him an apology email. This is part of the response I got:
“…you are damaged goods because of how you father treated you; or that you could never be a true friend to me because you can’t find the true you? Are you a lesbian? straight? bi? This in no way is a reflection of what I think; for all I know, you have come to terms with=2 0these issues, but it is simply to illustrate an attempt to say the most horrible things I can…”
Ugh. It’s so weird to think that I ever considered such a person to be my friend. And what’s weird is that I probably WAS friends with someone like that specifically BECAUSE my relationship with my father is problematic. Truth be told, this person never once kept a secret I told them, never once remembered my birthday, never once tried to make me feel better when I was down. He was a fairweather friend, I was just too “damaged” to know the difference.
I don’t know, I’m not saying that this guy OR Perez are the boogeyman. I guess I’m just trying to say that it kind of spooks me out that some people, especially these kinds of people have the platform to change minds, influence opinions and excel. When you’re involved in that shit, it seems like maybe you’ve done something wrong. I mean look at Fergie. She has reconstructed her entire face solely on Perez’s opinion and it’s still not good enough for him. He calls her “fugly”, “fat”, “talentless”, etc on a regular basis and all it takes is her calling him out in private one night for him to angrily lash out, call her friend a faggot and then create all of this drama to get his “fans” to destroy these people who aren’t hurting anybody.
I guess I’m just realizing that the amount of stress I put myself through for this one “friend” was totally wasted time because guys like this aren’t special, they’re a dime a dozen. And if you’re special too, they’re going to kick you down because there’s only room enough for one diva in the spotlight.
In this scenario, I stole his spotlight. In Perez’s he used he situation to his advantage to steal the spotlight before anyone else could take it from him and it’s going to be his downfall. In my own life, I still think about this stuff from time to time even though I know I shouldn’t give it the time of day. But I will never forget this person calling me “damaged goods” because what’s funny is that it was BEING “damaged goods” that led me to the positive life I have now.
And as for Perez, he should just apologize for using that word as an insult, to his readers, to Will.i.am, to GLAAD. Obvi Will.i.am’s manager should apologize for hitting him too but honestly, I think that hate speech is more dangerous that a punch. That punch only hurt Perezhilton. It’s not acceptable behavior but the only person hurt was the target of the punch. By comparison though, the use of the word “faggot” hurt way more people and will be his downfall if I have any say in it.
Last night we went up to school to go to our torturous Math Class. When we got there (after an hour long train ride on my part and Kristyn having sat in the car waiting for me for about the same amount of time), we realized that we’d forgotten both of our notebooks and had no way to take notes or do math problems. Kristyn remembered that there was a battered notebook in the trunk. She brought it back into the car and we looked through it. It turned out to be one of my old notebooks from my first stint at college. I don’t like to waste paper so rather than buying a new 3 or 5 subject notebook per semester, then not using it all and buying a new one, I tend to use them and use them until all of the pages are gone to save paper (and money those shit are expensive!). Anyway, going through the notebook was like peering into the cyclonic addled mind of a dangerously crazy person. I <3 looking at old notebooks bc you never quite know what you’ll find. I found a letter that I’d written breaking up with someone and never gave them, a letter I’d written a friend (you Karen!) that I’d never sent outlining the mundane day to days of my life at the time…I found to do lists, phone numbers and addresses for people and places I am no longer familiar with, class notes, class assignments (ranging from some kind of biology to literature to what looks like psychology)…there was a page in there where I outlined the pros and cons between working at my deli job (haha) and taking a new job at Houlihan’s. In the pros column for Houlihan’s I actually wrote (twice) “make a shitload of money”, hahaha. Was I kidding myself or what? I actually took that job and then quit a week into it, going back to the deli job. There were long, rambling (stoned) notes to myself actually addressed to me, with the time and date noted…that contained a series of bad Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinsky jokes. I actually signed off on that one too, “Love, Coleen”. There were also a bunch of Rummy 500 scorecards where Amanda DePalma won every time (she always did). But the crown jewel of this notebook was the picture above. It appears to be a little picture of an asshole enjoying a bowl of soup. This is why I love Kristyn. I have a million such incoherent notebooks and they are ALL peppered with inappropriate scribblings such as the aforementioned asshole from Kristyn. Me and Kristyn make our school schedules together and only go to class together (shocker) and so when a class starts to bore us, we begin doodling things for the other’s entertainment. Kristyn, having a far more devious and creative mind, always ends up trumping me with far more absurd creations. All I usually end up drawing are pictures of guns, knives, bullets, poison-tipped darts and this weird brain drawing that I constantly do. Kristyn, on the other hand, draws pictures of the teacher, draws pictures of some imaginary friend of hers named Tanya (she even ghost-writes letters from Tanya to me in these episodes)….she draws pictures of me, pictures of her, naked people, there’s always this same guy that always pops up, doggies…everything. Anyway, needless to say that by the time we interpreted this maniacal notebook, it was far too late to go to class and so we did not. I think I’m going to go through some more notebooks though and show you the fruits of our labors but for now, I think that “Asshole drinking soup” puts us off on a good footing for future installments. See ya later.
Buberella 